


Always and Forever

by ABCDYO88



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Best Friends, M/M, Pining, Songfic, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-26
Updated: 2020-12-26
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:20:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,366
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28326705
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ABCDYO88/pseuds/ABCDYO88
Summary: ...turns out that always and forever was just for a moment.
Relationships: Do Kyungsoo | D.O/Kim Jongin | Kai
Comments: 3
Kudos: 12





	Always and Forever

Long blonde hair blowing in the wind, eyes shining as bright as the stars in the night sky with his inviting pouty lips on full display making Kyungsoo release a soft sigh as he couldn't help but to swoon.

"The night sky is so pretty." Kyungsoo smiles, staring at the beautiful view while slowly turning his head to the side to try and steal a glance at Jongin but to his horror, his best friend is already looking at him.

"It's the same every night." Jongin simply shrugs and a shit eating grin spreads across Kyungsoo's face when Jongin looks away quickly and pretends not to care. 

He likes Jongin's sleepy expressive, beautiful eyes. He's even a sucker for Jongin's dimples at the corner of his mouth every damn time that he smiles. 

Kyungsoo likes Jongin more the world may know and as time passes by his feelings grow stronger.

If Jongin is there, there's no doubt that Kyungsoo is also there and vice versa.

For Kyungsoo, it's Jongin first, the whole world second. He's been loving Jongin for so long that sometimes it's hard to bear.

Jongin started talking about some stuff about work and Kyungsoo as usual listened attentively, giving Jongin his whole undivided attention.

Moment like this where Jongin is laughing about something stupid, excitedly telling him a story that Kyungsoo couldn't quite understand because he's getting distracted at how Jongin's eyes crinkles when he smiles, how his tongue pokes out to slide and wet his full lips and the way Kyungsoo's name sound so good coming out of Jongin's mouth. 

A moment like this and Kyungsoo couldn't help but to feel like someone is gripping his heart in a vice grip because of the voice inside his head softly telling him for the nth time; _"Why don't you kiss him? Why don't you tell Jongin how you really feel?"_

"Dude, are you still listening?" Jongin's deep voice startled Kyungsoo a bit. "I'm cold and tired." He cutely whines, giving his cold hand for Kyungsoo to feel and hold. 

Kyungsoo chuckles, holding Jongin's hand and rubbing it with his, keeping it warm. 

He likes how Jongin's fingers are so soft and slender compared to his. "Take your jacket back then."

"And you're going to get cold? Nope." Jongin replied.

"Then let's get inside, stupid." Kyungsoo retorted.

"Don't want to." Jongin pouted.

"Such a baby." Kyungsoo smiles fondly as Jongin inches closer, resting his head on Kyungsoo's shoulder like he always does. 

Kyungsoo likes wearing Jongin's clothes. He loves that there's this distinct smell of Jongin on it that he could always smell and feel on his skin. 

Kyungsoo feels giddy. He's been waiting for the right moment to confess, to tell Jongin how he really feels but he's afraid, Kyungsoo is so afraid to make that first move although he can't help but wonder what Jongin would say? Kyungsoo wondered if he would just turn away or Jongin would promise him that he's here to stay. 

Waiting hurts. 

When did he start loving his best friend in a different way? Kyungsoo doesn't know. Jongin and him have always been together since high school, the duo is inseparable ever since. They're the best of friends and they shared their secrets. Jongin knows everything that's on Kyungsoo's mind or so he thought.

He wonders if Jongin ever notices how he loves all the little things about him especially when he's unaware. The way he thought that Jongin is so cute when he tries so hard to play ball with his friends, every time he's singing like the way he hit those notes in every song Jongin is shining. 

Kyungsoo caught Jongin stealing a glance at him before smiling so perfectly. 

"What?" Kyungsoo huffed in fake annoyance, still holding Jongin's hand for dear life. 

"Nothing." Jongin simply replied, head still resting comfortably on Kyungsoo's broad shoulder.

They both sat down there in comfortable silence.

A deep shaky breath escapes Kyungsoo's lips before finally speaking up in a low, shaky voice. "Want to know a secret?"

Jongin turns his head to look at him before answering. "I like secrets." with a goofy grin.

A faint smile appears on Kyungsoo's face before saying in a hush tone, "I'm in love with you."

A deafening silence envelopes them. Kyungsoo can feel his heart on his throat but gosh it feels good to finally say it.

He's been loving Jongin every minute, every second of his life. Kyungsoo never knew a love like this but he's sure as fuck that there's no way in hell that he'll quit Jongin.

Kyungsoo will love him until the last of snow disappears, he'll love him until a rainy day becomes clear. He'll love Jongin always and forever.

Always and forever, Kyungsoo knows that he can't let Jongin go, he is the one.

A couple of moments passed by before Jongin sat up and gingerly took his hand away from Kyungsoo's hold. 

Kyungsoo was about to speak, ready to apologize when Jongin put his head on Kyungsoo's shoulder once again.

"I know." Jongin smilingly said and Kyungsoo is a bit stunned. 

Kyungsoo mustered all the courage he could get and turned to look at Jongin who was already staring fondly at him. 

Looking at Jongin's eyes eases Kyungsoo's restlessness, that warm and fond look on Jongin's eyes takes all his worries away. 

"I'm in love with you for a long damn time and now you know." Kyungsoo softly said, barely audible. 

"Kinda know it for a while now. I know you Soo and I'm not dense. I could feel it and I really do appreciate it." Jongin said with a small smile, reaching out for Kyungsoo's smaller hand to intertwine with his. "But I'm not there yet." he breathes out sadly, looking Kyungsoo straight in the eyes. 

"I'm good at waiting Nini." Kyungsoo smilingly said. 

He already loved Jongin for so long so waiting for a little bit more wouldn't hurt. Kyungsoo is even willing to wait for Jongin for his whole life.

"Promise me nothing will change? Always be with me Jongin." Kyungsoo asks dreamily and hopefully. "Even as best friends." 

"Always and forever, I'm with you Kyungsoo." Jongin promises and Kyungsoo hums in response, heart swells in happiness.

In a world devoid of life, Jongin brings colors and in his eyes, Kyungsoo sees the light, his future. 

_"Wait for me and I'll get there hyung!"_

**———**

_Jongin never got there._

It's been almost a year since that night he confessed, Kyungsoo waited, he's still waiting but he knew that it was all in vain. 

Kyungsoo still likes Jongin's sleepy expressive, beautiful eyes even though most of the time it always looked away when he pretended to care.

He is and always will be a sucker for those dimples on the corners of the smile that Jongin wears even though he wore them more with Sehun now.

Kyungsoo knew and he's scared because he let himself fall even deeper but at the same time, he was prepared.

"I'll get going now Soo." Jongin gives a small wave, walking away and barely looking at Kyungsoo because he's busy paying attention to the taller guy beside him. 

Kyungsoo is jealous because he saw Jongin whisper some words into Sehun's ear making the handsome guy laugh, how Kyungsoo wishes he could've been where Sehun's standing.

_"Kyungsoo, Can I tell you a secret?" Jongin broke the silence between them._

_Kyungsoo is not dense, he could feel what was coming and he's already in pain. So much pain. "Go on." The best friend breathes out nervously, mindlessly staring at the movie they're watching._

_"I'm in love." Jongin breathes out, swallowing a lump on his throat, anxiously looking at his best friend._

_Kyungsoo's poker face faltered for a second before he took a deep breath and said "I know." with a small smile._

_"I'm sorry." Jongin's voice is barely audible._

_He wanted to say how much it hurts, how it feels like he can't breathe but Kyungsoo ends up telling Jongin what he wanted to hear and what he's supposed to say._

_"It's okay. As your best friend, I'm happy for you Nini." Kyungsoo said, finally looking at Jongin and forcing a big smile, trying his hardest not to fall apart right there and then_. 

Everyday he can feel Jongin's getting a little further away. Kyungsoo never thought he'd see the day where they don't exist as one.

For Kyungsoo, it's still Jongin over everyone and anything else like as always but for Jongin, Always and forever was just for a moment because Kyungsoo is not the one. 

Kyungsoo liked Jongin's shirt, the one he gave him but his best friend rarely wears it when it used to be his favourite and now on different shoulders hangs Jongin's jacket that Kyungsoo used to wear.

Kyungsoo has been loving Jongin for so long that most of the time it's so hard to bear but after all this time, all the pain, Kyungsoo still wishes Jongin well from where he is standing. 

Kyungsoo wanted to go back to where they started but he doesn't know how. It feels like they are close as strangers.

_"Soo, I can't go hang today!"_

_"Sorry, I won't be there. I already said yes to Chanyeol, we're going out of town and I forgot to tell you."_

_"If you want you can come and hang with us hyung. We'll play ball with Sehunnie."_

_"Oops, sorry I can't pick you up. Hun and I are going out to watch a movie. I'll make it up to you next time."_

_"Let's just go next time hyung."_

It used to be him and Jongin versus the world even after he confessed his feelings but as time goes by, they started to spend less time together, he feels like Jongin is slowly drifting away and no matter how hard he tries, Jongin is slipping away from his hold.

Jongin started to have his own life while Kyungsoo's world still revolves around him. 

They used to spend most of their time together but now he's lucky if Jongin even spared him a glance. They used to laugh and talk about anything and everything and now look at how their conversations turned to nothing.

Kyungsoo still chose to wait and take a few steps back while looking with a heavy heart as Jongin kept walking without him.

Now there's an empty space where Kyungsoo used to exist, he never knew of pain like this but now he got to know.

Kyungsoo knows that the time has come and he's not the main lead in Jongin's show.

No matter how much that he have tried

he could never change Jongin's mind and heart. Now he's aware that he could never even compare with someone like Sehun because Kyungsoo will always be just a friend, that loyal stupid best friend who will simply love from a far. 

He can't replace the space Jongin saved for someone special, Kyungsoo can't replace the place that wasn’t given to him in the first place but sometimes he wishes that even for just once he can pretend to fake that part.

Kyungsoo still loves Jongin every minute, every second even though their always and forever promise was just for a moment.

Kyungsoo doesn't expect anything. He knows his rightful place, he's just the best friend. Always will be but there are times that he couldn't help but to hate Jongin. 

Kyungsoo hated how it used to be him over anybody else for Jongin but now things drastically change. 

Kyungsoo hated how Jongin made him think that he actually had a chance with him and when he tried to take that chance, Jongin made him realize that he never did.

Kyungsoo hated how much it hurts loving his best friend. He hated the way it feels like Jongin's letting them go like it was all just nothing.

Kyungsoo hates every little thing about Jongin because he can still remember how they broke so perfectly.

Kyungsoo was one foot out the door, ready to throw all their years away. He thought that he could no longer move forth because each and every step they took them closer to their end and the hand Kyungsoo used to hold, seemed to vanish in the wind. 

Just then, Kyungsoo realized that he can never leave Jongin's side and no matter the distance and the problems that they faced. It's easier to fight against than the thought of letting Jongin go.

To give Jongin up because of love or from the heartache and pain, that's something Kyungsoo can never do because how could Kyungsoo do that to Jongin? His love runs deep as oceans, Kyungsoo will wait until the moment it runs dry and it will be the day he'll bid his love for Jongin goodbye.

As a best friend, Kyungsoo decided to be happy and supportive of Jongin decisions even though his heart's already breaking, he simply went on and let Jongin twist the knife. 

**———**

Another two years have passed and Kyungsoo loved Jongin every minute, every second of it.

In a world still full of life, Kyungsoo still sees colors. In Jongin's eyes he sees light, their future and comes to terms that they both deserve better.

The ocean hasn't completely run dry but time and acceptance really do wonders because Kyungsoo already learns that part of loving Jongin was letting go. 

Always and forever can wait for the time because Jongin was not the one, Kyungsoo knows that now.

When Jongin finally realized that he's there, that maybe he's always been there but he's too foolish, that he didn't realize it when Kyungsoo is still by his side, looking at him the other way— time already healed Kyungsoo's heart. 

Life is really full of twists and turns and there's nothing lowkey about it because now it's Jongin's turn to question whether he should smile because he's still Kyungsoo's best friend or should he cry because that's all he's ever going to be.

Kyungsoo yearned and waited for a long time until he finally learned to let go whereas Jongin tragically fell in love with his best friend a little bit too late.

**Author's Note:**

> sorry its just a whole ass song fic jshsjsk anyways, happy holidays!!


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